Bootcamp: Let’s break it down

I have been trying to digest boot camp for the past day or two and it has been challenging to limit all that God has done in a few paragraphs. To be completely transparent, this week was really difficult. I was confronted with fears I didn’t know I had and faced with a reality that is nowhere close to easy. I experienced and felt a lot of things, but there are a few words and phrases that come to mind while I’m reflecting on the past few days. 

• Doubt: There were moments when everything started to become a little hard to swallow. I couldn’t help but doubt if this is really God’s plan for me, if I can do this at all, if I will see fruition, if everything I am giving up is worth it, or even if I still want to do this at all. I was searching for peace and was only finding more things to doubt and worry about, but something my mentor said really prompted me to see God’s heart in this. She said that when she was training for her race, she felt the Lord ask her what her faith is costing her. If I am being honest, being a follower of Jesus hasn’t cost me much. It brought some clarity when I started to consider the fact that the conditions I’m scared to walk into for less than a year are the only things the locals know. They are unfamiliar with the way that Americans live with big nice houses and hot showers and having 15 choices of what to eat for dinner. Not only now are we as Americans a very small minority as far as lifestyle compared to the rest of the world, but an even smaller minority compared to the rest of history. God did not save me and put me where I am to remain in comfort, He blessed me to be a blessing. I was not called to rest in comfort, but to walk in faith.  

• Conviction: It hit me that I tend to minimize the God I serve. I talk to Him like a friend, but often forget that He is the creator of the heavens and the Earth. I am a small part in His very big plan to bring all people to worship Him. Who am I to complain about small things like showers and meals when the King has invited me into His mission? I cannot launch successfully in September if I do not allow Jesus to have total Lordship over my life now. The Lord hit me with some hard truth when He brought to my attention that to see fruition from Him, I need to consistently abide in Him and study His word. Not just when I feel like it, not when I have extra time, but everyday. 

• Excitement: Regardless of the hardships this journey might bring, there is so much joy to come. My squad is amazing. It is hard to believe I met them all for the first time less than a week ago because they already feel like family. There is something so special about a Christ-centered community and I am seriously thrilled to see where this year takes us. 

• Sacrifice: It hit me this week that to do this, to follow God’s call, I quite literally have to give up every single thing I know. My friends, family, comfort, control, time, and home are just the first things that come to mind. I have no idea how I am going to let it all go, but Jesus does 🙂 I have faith that if I give everything I have to the Lord, he will multiply it and bring fruit into my ministry, in and out of the World Race. A spirit of abandonment is going to be a huge prayer of mine in the next two or so months before officially launching.

 It’s really happening! So thankful for all the things I learned this week at bootcamp, and especially grateful for the long, warm shower I took when I got home. The next two months are all about preparing my heart for this so I will be posting pretty consistently!