I leave in 19 days. To be honest, the reality of this whole journey really didn’t click until today, and when it did, I burst into tears. From the bottom of my heart, I am affirmed in my path and excited for everything I am going to experience, but it doesn’t make it any less scary or hard to leave behind everything. I haven’t gone two weeks without seeing my parents, so I really have no clue how I am going to go 9 months without a hug from my mom and dad. I truly have the best people in my life and I am so incredibly grateful. My people are the hardest to leave, no doubt, but guys I have to be honest, I love my things. I know that isn’t really the spirit of the world race but it’s just the truth. I love a good long shower and sleeping with five pillows and getting to pick whatever I want for breakfast and picking out whatever I want to wear that day and my washer and dryer. Just typing this out, I recognize how privileged I sound, but I made a commitment to be vulnerable and honest on this blog, and the honest truth is I can be a little high maintenance. However, that will be changing very soon whether I like it or not. And it’s just all really hard. I have a newfound respect for every single person who has gone before me and done the race in past years. I’m starting to realize that leaving next month is going to be one of the hardest moments of my life so far, and that’s a tough pill to swallow. So to future racers: the summer before you leave might be very difficult. The month before you leave is going to be even harder. Watching your friends move into college while you are busy picking out a tent is going to suck. You are going to second guess your choice to go. You might even doubt your faith altogether. At this point, I can’t speak to what makes it worth it in the end and why it is worth sticking it out, but what I do know is that Mark 10:30 says,
“Jesus said, ‘Truly, I say to you, there is no one who has left house or brothers or sisters or mother or father or children or lands, for my sake and for the gospel, who will not receive a hundredfold now in this time, houses and brothers and sisters and mothers and children and lands, with persecutions, and in the age to come eternal life.”
The God I know is worthy of the sacrifice. I know that, but it’s also okay that it’s hard and complicated and sad at times. Right now, I’m in the thick of hard, complicated, and sad. But that isn’t the end of it. There is joy to come in this!
And to those who are just keeping up with my journey: Following Jesus was never meant to be easy, and for the first time in my life I am experiencing that first hand. I encourage you today to reflect on how easy we have it here in the states. It is so easy to take for granted our ability to worship freely, but it’s also important to remember that there are Christians around the world that are being persecuted for their choice to worship. I believe all of us are blessed by the Lord in many different ways, but I just wanted to point out that specific blessing many of us have been given. Just something you can be grateful for today 🙂
Thank you for hearing out my realness, even if it isn’t the most positive or put together. I wish I could say that this summer and the transition period is seamless, but that would be a flat-out lie. This has been a season of struggle for me in many ways, some I was expecting and some I wasn’t. It’s hard, and right now I don’t have a fantastic experience to follow that sentence with. But I know the God I serve and I know He is worthy of praise regardless of the season I am in or the circumstances I am under. That’s where I’m going to leave off this blog, with a reminder to myself and all of you that God is good regardless. God is all-powerful regardless. God is holy regardless. God is sovereign regardless. And God loves you regardless.
It’s cool to see God working through your positive perspective of this season. He’s preparing you (and all of us) for more than we could imagine. God works so much through a difficult and uncomfortable yes.
– Romans 5:3-5
Thank you thank you thank you for being vulnerable! You are not alone. It is not a seamless transition and I have battled that myself, but God knows what he is doing and is not surprised by the changes and the things we experience along the way. You got this! Praying for you!
i love your heart lucy!! thank you for sharing this !
Thanks for being real, Lucy. One of the reasons why I did the World Race is because I felt like I had no answer to the question of, “What is your faith currently costing you?” It’s okay to like long showers/sleeping with five pillows/your washer and dryer! It’s not okay when/if Jesus’ comfort comes second – or third or fourth – to the comfort those things bring. Thanks for letting yourself fully feel the emotions that come with leaving, while also recognizing that this isn’t the end of the story. I think of Romans 8:18, “For I consider that the sufferings of the present time are not worth comparing to the glory that is to be revealed in us.” I’m thankful for you and your heart!
love you and your vulnerability so much- so so proud of you for taking this huge step- you’re not alone in your fears, love you so big!!
On Sunday in worship we sang “Christ is Enough”. As I was bolding singing at the top of my lungs, it washed over me that I didn’t really have to be brave to sing that out. I was in a sea of others freely worshipping in a large gathering on American soil. “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back”… easy for me to sing. “Though none go with me, I still will follow, no turning back, no turning back” …. all these people are with me. “Everything I need is in you”…. Is that true of me. I began to feel the weight of the words, but they lead me to a place of freedom. I pondered as we sang, then the Holy Spirit reminded me, that Yes. If it was only you, you would. Yes. If everything was stripped away, you would. He reminded me that because I (Holy Spirit) am in you, you have more strength than you could ever have on your own… the full power of God lives inside you. So yes. Though none go with me, I still follow. The cross before me, the world behind me. No. Turning.Back. The Lord has you. He is in you and He is able to do exceedingly more than you could ask or imagine! The contemplation is good. He is always working on us and renewing our minds. God’s got this!
Love this Lucy. Saying yes to Jesus is worth it…even when you find yourself sleeping in a tent here and there. I can testify to that 🙂 I’m with ya. Proud of you
Thank you for your honesty. People could tell you a hundred times about the great experiences your going to have on the race. About all the life lessons you will learn. About hour much your relationship with Jesus will grow.
The truth is, if your “right now” is a time of struggle all that information won’t change the struggle. You have chosen wisely. . . . Remind yourself of God’s goodness, His faithfulness, His power and His love. And the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard your heart and mind.